I choose how I feel

For a long time now Bryan has been telling me that I have a choice in how I feel. I have to say that I honestly did not understand that concept. I thought that feelings were something you experienced and not something you really had a choice in. I definitely need to work on making a choice about how I'm feeling but I know I am capable of ending my anxiety and I will end it. I am tired of trying to control my surroundings on order to control the symptoms of my anxiety, I need to remember the only thing I really have any control over are my reactions and trying to control external forces only increases my anxiety so I need to remember that.

On the treadmill

Today I took a picture of the new view I look at when I'm running on the treadmill. In order to avoid the morning traffic Bryan and I leave the house at 5:45 and drive to a gym up in Bellevue. I have to drive up there every day so I'm doing my runs at the gym now instead of at home where I've been doing them for 5 years. The view is pretty cool. I took the picture right at the end of my run after I had gotten a really good endorphin rush at about 40 minutes. The rush let me kick the speed up and it felt really good,

My Shadow

So today was a very intense day of training at work. I spent most of the day with a really nice guy named Paul who reminded me of all the statistics I learned in college. Finally after about 4 hours of statistics and creating first articles I had to get my daily beach fix.

Today at the beach the little munchkin in the picture let his little ball roll down the steps almost into the water. His nanny didn't notice and he stood at the top of the steep steps for a minute looking like he wanted to go down and retrieve his ball. Before he could tumble down the stairs into the gravel on the beach I decided to go get his ball so he wasn't tempted to do it himself. At that point his nanny showed up and I handed him the ball and he proceeded to throw it back towards the water. I retrieved the ball again and handed it to the nanny this time and then went back to my spot on the steps to watch the ducks. A few minutes later I got up and started to walk back to work. As I was walking I heard giggling, so I turned around and the munchkin was following me. When I turned around he started pointing at the sky and saying "plane" and sure enough a plane was going overhead. It made me smile and I took a picture.

Baby Duck

I realized today that I should take advantage of the fact that I don't have a whole lot to do in my new job yet. Yesterday I ate lunch at my desk but there is a gorgeous waterfront park less than 200ft from my office. So today I went around the corner and got lunch and then went and sat on a park bench 15 feet from the shore of Lake Washington and watched the momma ducks and there babies. If you can't see it there is a little baby duck in the center of the picture. The mommas were getting fed bread by other people and the babies were just trying to keep up. It was adorable,

My new "view"

So today was my first day at my new job and it was awesome. It was a long day but it was a whole lot of fun and I can't wait to dig into the issues I'm going to deal with at this new job, it's going to be a real challenge. I can very happily report that I have an office again and I kind of have a "view". Between me and the window are 2 different offices but at least I can see daylight from my desk vs sitting in cubicle hell again. This job is going to be a real challenge but I think it's going to be a whole lot of fun. I've even started another blog to write about the things I learn.

New commute

Today I drove my new commute during rush hour (okay maybe a little after) for the first time. This is the view just as you drive into Bellevue from Factorial on I-405. The fact that I had enough time to take a picture with my cell phone tells you that the traffic was bad. But surprisingly it didn't take nearly as long as I expected. My plan is to leave my house by 6 am, drive to Bellevue to workout then drive to work in Kirkland after my workout. This should work out well because the worst of the traffic is between Renton and Bellevue so I can beat that traffic and then after my workout it should only take me 10-15 minutes to get to the office.

I'm really going to miss working out at the same Gym with Bryan and getting to do my runs at home. But after my conversation with my new Boss this morning I think I'm going to love this job and the freedom it sounds like I will have to solve problems. I can't wait!!!!

Lamp Shopping

Today was actually quite a busy day for vacation. Got up and went to the gym and had a good workout. Got home and took a shower and the played guitar hero for a little while. Then I went to a doctors appointment. After the doc appointment I went lamp shopping. I went to Seattle Lighting because I want to replace all the gold monstrosities the previous owner installed. Most of the things I liked we're generic things to be installed but this particular lamp struck me and pretty and I think that it might go well in our living room after its been painted. Bryan said he wasn't a huge fan but I think if he sees it in person hell come around.